Suggestion:
wow you sound exactly like me except 4 years ago! Seriously, my hair is so crazy that as a kid, I had an afro. Cute as a toddler but increasingly embarrassing as I got older. I hated using the blow dryer because I felt I had to 'style' it and could never (and still can't) manouver the hair dryer AND a hair brush. I just don't have enough hands! So this is what I found worked for me:
Once finished in the shower, ring out your hair. Towel dry your hair. If your hair is even more like mine you might have little flappy bits that have their own minds and stick up like wings. Dry these vigourously with your towel until they are completely dry because they fling off on their own when they dry on their own! Next work through some conditioner into your hair starting at the ends and work upwards. Put enough in so that it puts moisture in your hair but stop once you feel it's about to start getting oily. I find it's better to squeeze a small portion onto my hand then rub it over both palms then move my hands through my hair. People think conditioner on damp hair will make it go hard this will not happen as long as you do not put it on in globs.
This is when you use the hair dryer but DO NOT WORRY! Just use it to dry your hair. Put the dryer on the lowest heat setting because the hotter it is the more it will frizz, but on 100% cool air this will just take forever. Just fling that hair dryer around like a mad woman, give your hair a shake every now and then to keep the air moving. Don't focus on drying one section of your hair – attack the whole thing! When the roots of your hair near your hair part are starting to become closer to being dry, hold one side of your hair down and hold the dryer directly on the hair and move down the part and do the same for the other side. This will help stop fly away bits.
Do not tip your head upside down and blow dry because this will make your hair frizz up.
Then once it is just about dry, if it still looking a bit frizzy run through some conditioner again. Then smooth a very light amount on the roots where the hair parts. This is because your hair part is the most noticeable part of the hair when it is out and if that looks neat then so do you! Please trust me on this at least give it a go. I hated, hated, HATED my hair through highschool, I felt so embarrassed of my hair because everyone else had hair straighteners and perfect hair everyday but I found this worked for me after too long and it feels so good to walk past a window and actually like my hair!
Also if you run out of time to properly dry your whole head, skip the blow dry bit but still towel dry your hair and totally dry those wing-like parts if you have any, smooth through some conditioner, then throw it all in a rough, loose braid. The conditioner and the moisture still in your hair will be locked in by the braid, it will dry slowly throughout the day and when you take it out it will keep it's form and be smooth and wavy!
I really do hope you try this because I know how you feel and I know how great I feel now. If it doesn't work I really hope you find something!
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